Can Your Save Your Children From Trauma?
“ I did not because I knew not”. This quote should be something our guardians said to us while growing up in the early 70’s and mid 90’s. They didn’t know they suffered and operated then raised us in their traumas. Is it truly a thing to save our kids in this generation from their trauma? We are at a critical point in time that we are recognizing and healing ourselves from our traumas and this healing is opening up the doors to seeing the trauma that we could potentially cause to our children.
It is important that we heal ourselves because in the coming time the way needs to be clear for the next generation to not be bogged down with trying to be release from childhood traumas. In this episode, I speak about how I saw a potential trauma situation brewing in my relationship with my kids. I could not have seen this if I wasn’t actively working on myself and because I was actively working on myself I could put myself aside and see the behavior I was projecting.
I grew up in a time of ego. You didn’t say you were sorry to kids even when you found that a mistake was made. Guardians and parents wanted to be the authority and not be seen as weak or not knowing something. I have found this behavior will not work for me. It will not work for my kids either. Not for them now and definitely not in the future. It is my job to change the generational curses so that they can thrive and not survive when I transition from this earthly realm.
Can we save them from their trauma? Ask yourself could you be saved as a child. if someone would have paid a little more attention to you. Talked to you about things that rolled around in your mind. Allow you to speak about uncomfortable issues. Explain to you what was going on instead of just believing you will be okay. I have a controversial thought: We wouldn’t need therapists if we would have had intentional guardians/parents. Let that sink in for a minute.
I’m not attacking anyone but just sharing that if there was a deeper awareness of the little lives and how choices made a lasting impression. I just know more would have been saved from the trauma that is plaguing them now. Yes, trauma causes us to grow but it also stunts growth. Many don’t recognize how much being told as a child to not question adults molds them into a person that goes with anything from anybody keeps them reeling in the same spot. The same job. The same relationship. Never being able to fully express themselves or question situations when they just don’t agree with them.
This is just a small example but it causes big issues. Just think of all the scenarios that could come out of this.
I challenge you to think as if you were a child again. Think as if you were entering into your teen years how your adult reactions would affect you. Every thought is important. Every dream wants to be realized. All relationships and attention to detail matter. How will you handle yourself? How will you relate to yourself?
To tell the truth, as an adult for some they are so busy healing and figuring out their lives that they cannot listen to the cries of their children for assistance with navigating their lives. Some parents think they don’t have the tools, but they do. Your kids are your kids for a reason and that means that you have the tools to tap into them and assist them with the things that they face. Focusing on the time thief should not come into play at any time when healing and dealing through trauma. You have plenty of time and opportunities once you start on to healing for yourself and in the process, this will open up doors to understanding your child.
I’ll ask again. Can You Save The Trauma? Not, all of it but you can give them more. You can give them the tools that will help them recognize and heal as they grow.
You are the key that will unlock this knowledge in them and you can hear about how on my podcast Lovingyourselftolife. Do something for you that only you will love….Have a love yourself day.
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-J. Chatfiled